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Gig Guide for 2010 @ Spoonfed.co.uk
Records of 2009: Artists' Choice @ Spoonfed.co.uk
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Fall Out Boy – Believers Never Die
Obligatory Greatest Hits compilation following a fifteen minutes of fame but that’s now lasted 6 years and apparently sold 12 million (!) records. Remains predominantly for people who like their emo sugary; or their pop angsty – teenagers, then – but the best ones (those from Under the Cork Tree and ‘Thnks fr th Mmrs’) at least threaten to challenge the homogeneous arse-end of Generation Y appeal. And in spite of myself I find a toe tapping away to the ‘Beat It’ cover, providing I ignore the John Mayer co-credit. Docked a point for the nauseatingly twee/ clever-clever-but-not-actually-that-clever song titles, but overall not too bad.
Best Tracks: 'Sugar, We're Goin Down', 'Thnks fr th Mmrs'
6/10
The Bravery – Stir The Blood
A case study in overwrought try-hardiness and affected vocals, Sam Endicott still believes he’s Marc Almond playing in a punk band. Sure, it’s outmoded, jaded, and self-important, but you’ll hear far worse than the first half of this record. Whilst side B is weaker, the derision with which these lot are treated does rather beg the question – why is everyone making such a big deal about The Big Pink when they so often sound EXACTLY THE SAME? Prophetic line: “I can still remember your sound, it’s cut cut cutting me down, like slow poison” – food for thought Mr Endicott...
Best Tracks: 'Slow Poison', 'Adored'
6/10
NOFX – Cokie The Clown E.P.
Fat Mike is convinced he’s best at doing clumsy politics or clumsier sex/drugs montages. Of course, anyone with any sense knows his most relevant songs are increasingly the personal anecdotes sparingly sprinkled across a NOFX record. And so, skip to a tender acoustic version of ‘My Orphan Year’ – the best song from recent full-length Coaster – and enjoy the title track’s music without bothering with the lyrics sheet.
Best Tracks: 'Cokie the Clown', 'My Orphan Year (Acoustic)'
6.5/10
Seal – Hits
Seal has undergone the familiar regression from interesting, occasionally vital artist to adult-contemporary inconsequence, a fact documented by this second Greatest Hits compilation. As such, revel in early techno-infused hits ‘Crazy’ and ‘Killer’, marvel at the untouchable ‘Kiss from a Rose’, and use ‘I Am Your Man’ as a ticket to unhurriedly relieve yourself. That said; enjoy Seal’s soulful tone even whilst wading through the MOR debris. Destined, perhaps unfairly, to peak as every third auntie’s Christmas present.
Best Tracks: 'Crazy', 'Kiss from a Rose'
7/10
*** 50 word run-downs of this week’s new releases, including track recommendations from THE POPSCENER***
Note: Don’t get your hopes up for this week...
Adam Lambert – For Your Entertainment
Overly long sheen-heavy pomp-rock record for teenage girls and 3rd generation Bon Jovi fans. Lowlights: Pitch perfect reprisals of Matt Bellamy’s vocals in ‘Soaked’ and risible Peter Frampton-esque talking guitar in ‘A Loaded Smile’. Unfortunate line: “I was born with glitter on my face” from ‘Sure Fire Winners’.
Best Tracks: ‘Pick U Up’, ‘Broken Open’
4/10
Rihanna – Rated R
“Baby I’m a rockstar” protests Rihanna on ‘Rockstar 101’. She’s not of course, actually she’s a better than average Thriller-era synth-pop temptress, abetted by dark license and liberal doses of sex. This one lacks the songs of its predecessor and consequently may not sell as many despite the “Brown-gate” intrigue. Mystifying lyric: “I may be dumb but I’m not stupid” from ‘Stupid in Love’ – but ofcourse!
Best Tracks: ‘Wait Your Turn’, ‘G4L’
6/10
Susan Boyle – I Dreamed a Dream
Unlikely to be adorning many teenage boys’ walls in the near future, Simon Cowell must think she can rely on her not inconsequential warble and jerking enough tears from the over 50s in the lead up to Christmas. The cover of ‘Wild Horses’ is oddly listenable; the rest is dross. Minus one point for poor grammar (er, it’s ‘Dreamt’ thanks). Biggest disappointment: realisation that ‘Cry Me a River’ wasn’t a JT cover – rats!
Best Tracks: ‘Wild Horses’
3/10